Category Archives: Cope How To

In Crises DO NOT Rely on Your Emotions. Follow Rules of Coronavirus Prevention First

Why are people taking this pandemic not for what it is, dangerous. Some things are not negotiable. How you confront this virus is similar to allowing your child to touch a glowing piece of iron. You don’t! We know the media keeps blowing every frivolous thing out of proportion to get your attention. When there is something that is as unpredictable as this coronavirus, the media has no tricks left to convey the seriousness of this deadly threat.

It concerns me when I see a team of cleaning women of five driving without masks in a small car from house to house, kitchen staff and construction workers chatting it up without adhering to safety measures. The worst ignorance is that the general public crowds Beaches like any other beautiful weekend. Our town has one of the oldest populations in California and yet during weekdays I see more people over 65 out going about their business without caution. This careless behavior creates stress and worry for those who adhere to current health standards.  If we keep ignoring precautions, we ask for the National Guards to keep discipline to contain this virus as we see already in Europe and the rest of the world.

Since we have no prior reference, we can’t rely on our feelings or logic alone. The coronavirus just is. For the foreseeable future we have to adapt to it by following the rules. Is it challenging? Yes, but what else is there to do and what else is currently more important than protect lives?

Do the few things that help and be disciplined a.HANDSWash them often, b.ELBOWCough into it, c.FACEDon’t touch it, d.FEETStay more than 6ft apart, e.FEELsick? Stay home.  If you feel certain things are okay to do, check before the CDC https://www.cdc.gov/ or WHO https://www.who.int/ websites. Bill Gates predicted we could contain this pandemic within four to six weeks if we are disciplined.  Stay safe and let’s ride this crazy thing out for yourself and everyone else. 

Michaell Magrutsche is a certified coach and caregiver and lives in Orange County CA

Family – What Is It?

With every coaching client the conundrum of family comes up and the misunderstandings cause plenty of unnecessary stress. As you probably already figured out for yourself, all families are f***ed up.
Families are screwed up or at least dysfunctional. The purpose of this seemingly defective group is to experience love, allow growth, and handle crises for each individual and in a group environment. In other words, a family is by definition a potentially dysfunctional environment for all family members to learn their lessons from and with each other. We learn the good like receiving love, loyalty, forgiveness and we experience the bad with betrayal, disappointment and shame.

There is no such thing as a perfect family like you see on TV, but we long for it.Can you remember when you wanted your friend’s parents, because they were so cool. Guess for a moment what your friend of those cool parents wished for? If you would grow up in a TV family setting, your survival in the “real” world would be short lived. Why? Family hones your emotional intelligence by teaching you to gauge the meaning of trust and distrust, love and manipulation, honesty and deception. Family is a “safe” training ground to prepare your skill of being able to live in the world as adults.

Sadly, the reason of all family damage comes from an adopted understanding that a family is supposed to be perfect in a certain way. Trying to adapt to such an ideal increases tension, control and anger. Families that strive to conform to their made-up model often end up in shaming its members actively, through ridicule, or passively, through comparison to the “perpetrator.” “You are (are not) like your brother who stole the money, you are just like your cheating father”

I define a functional family as one that creates a dynamic community, which allows its members to embrace their individuality through independence. This kind of family knows that, no matter what happens, it can cope with differences, arguments or events, like a 12 year old daughter becoming pregnant or a parent falling ill without jeopardizing any of its members. A family works when it can handle dysfunction, when it can deal with anything that is thrown their way and everyone knows they will get through this.

This established safety is the glue that holds a functional family together. Contrary, living with each other by depending on conformity leads to unnecessary stress, hurt and boredom. The art of living life is where everyone is participating and contributing with their uniqueness and idiosyncrasies to uplift. The purpose why all families are dysfunctional is for the reason of everyone’s growth, experiencing love, learning how to handle crises and how to function as member and as a unit discovering one’s impact.

Understanding and accepting your families’ function will allow you to relieve stress and guilt, refocus and create space for each family member to experience a more content and a happier future.

Michaell Magrutsche

Listen to this podcast click Family – What is It?

Michaell Magrutsche, Dr. Joen Painter & Hillary F. Brown are certified personal coaches that let you listen-in on the best of their private master-sessions where they discuss topics that come up with themselves or their clients. Secret Talks Podcasts andwebpage.

 

Your X-Factor with Ex-Partners!

This podcast illustrates the power of wanting intimacy vs. wanting a love or sexual relationship. Surprisingly, we found in our talk that what humans look for is foremost intimacy, as in closeness, not as sexuality with another human. In this episode Click here  Michaell Magrutsche, Dr. Joen Painter and Hillary F. Brown discuss the innate problem when ex-partners pop up in our lives, understanding the awkwardness and how to handle these situations. These 15 minutes will pleasantly open your mind to find solutions on how to handle ex-partners being in your current life. Please push LIKE if you enjoy our podcast and share with your friends. For more info go to our wellness-team page.

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What the Hell is Fear All About?

Make Fear a Friend

All fear ultimately comes from a fear of being alone, lonely and/or being separate. Understand and surrender to the fact that there will always be something to fear. Because we are continuously expanding by stepping out or being pushed out of your comfort zone, fear is part of our human growth process. Decide to see fear as a friend to warn you about danger. When you let it go by allowing and feeling your fear(s), and know fear just wants to move through, it will deliver to you your bliss, your loves and your treasures. I love this following quote, because it lets us look differently at fear. “All fear is a symptom of faulty belief. All fears come from loneliness – loneliness meaning: ” I don’t love good enough.” You are in charge of your reality, therefore in charge of how you live with people, in love or in loneliness. Understanding this mechanism, you begin to conquer fear”.- Lazaris. What a great quote to ponder and take a deeper inventory about your fear(s), especially about those fears that you are currently experiencing. One other solution is as soon as you start feeling fear lay down and close your eyes to allow yourself to feel your fear as much as you can handle. Thus usually gives you clarity about the fear and allows the fear to dissipate more quickly. Enjoy. If you like this information please share the wisdom.

Self Observation – Your Key to Ease of Life

meditating woman

The most rewarding, but intricate thing in life is to overcome the fear of looking at yourself, not in a comparing or self-critical, but in a new, self-observing way. It’s similar to meeting yourself as being another person for the first time. Look at yourself and open up to see the whole of you. Stop comparing, not because it is worry-some, but it does not work. Everyone is different, no exceptions. See the things you like, dislike, what you display and hide, force them all into the light, not to evaluate or judge but to feel. Evaluating Self as good or bad is an easy cop-out that does not work because it prevents you from feeling. Instead, you want to feel consciously, observe and understand who you are and why without evaluating. Integrating self-observation into our routines, eases our life and helps prevent us from bumping into “obstacles.” Meditation is one of the most powerful facilitators of self-observation. Please push LIKE if you enjoy what your read and share with your friends.

Instead, you want to consciously observe and understand who you are and why without evaluate. Integrating self-observation into our routines, eases our life and helps prevent us from bumping into “obstacles.” Meditation is one of the most powerful facilitators of self-observation.

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Fear of Loneliness – Human’s Bugaboo

Michaell Magrutsche - Loneliness h

There are opinions that either fear or loneliness are the bottom line of all constricting emotions. In my experience, it is the synergy of both. It is the fear of loneliness that is the big unseen bugaboo. Please, stay with me and forgive my wordiness. I guarantee, it will be worth your time. We all know fear or loneliness and we somehow can get through them. The synergy called fear of loneliness is something else and much deeper. Perhaps that’s why we have a hard time seeing it. Fear of loneliness gets to our core, Humanity and God, Universe or whatever higher power (Source) you believe in.

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What’s Going On Right Now?!?

Michaell Magrutsche quote

Is it good or is it bad? It seems nothing in our world is black and white, right or wrong.  Recessions aren’t recessions. Business isn’t business anymore. Even friendships  have different dynamics these days. Humans are creatures of habit. When things change or, in our current situation, the world changes, we get anxious and frightened. If a burglar wakes you up at night – you are afraid. If you are afraid, does not mean a burglar is in your house. If you know the noise that wakes you up is just the wind, you can go back to bed. Know that everyone and everything is currently changingfor the better, but we can’s see it yet. Focusing on what works can keep us in our seat on our ride to the next destination called “A New World.” Focus on what is working also helps let go of self ridicule, self judgement, dread and fear. This is what my friend Lazaris said about understanding what’s going on currently. “Everything is different now. You are growing and changing in a new way. Consider … your past and current failures were not and are not regression: They were and are means to a wiser, more fruitful path taking you in new directions that lead to greater happiness, greater success, and greater peace.” Lazaris

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