Author Archives: Michaell Magrutsche

In Crises DO NOT Rely on Your Emotions. Follow Rules of Coronavirus Prevention First

Why are people taking this pandemic not for what it is, dangerous. Some things are not negotiable. How you confront this virus is similar to allowing your child to touch a glowing piece of iron. You don’t! We know the media keeps blowing every frivolous thing out of proportion to get your attention. When there is something that is as unpredictable as this coronavirus, the media has no tricks left to convey the seriousness of this deadly threat.

It concerns me when I see a team of cleaning women of five driving without masks in a small car from house to house, kitchen staff and construction workers chatting it up without adhering to safety measures. The worst ignorance is that the general public crowds Beaches like any other beautiful weekend. Our town has one of the oldest populations in California and yet during weekdays I see more people over 65 out going about their business without caution. This careless behavior creates stress and worry for those who adhere to current health standards.  If we keep ignoring precautions, we ask for the National Guards to keep discipline to contain this virus as we see already in Europe and the rest of the world.

Since we have no prior reference, we can’t rely on our feelings or logic alone. The coronavirus just is. For the foreseeable future we have to adapt to it by following the rules. Is it challenging? Yes, but what else is there to do and what else is currently more important than protect lives?

Do the few things that help and be disciplined a.HANDSWash them often, b.ELBOWCough into it, c.FACEDon’t touch it, d.FEETStay more than 6ft apart, e.FEELsick? Stay home.  If you feel certain things are okay to do, check before the CDC https://www.cdc.gov/ or WHO https://www.who.int/ websites. Bill Gates predicted we could contain this pandemic within four to six weeks if we are disciplined.  Stay safe and let’s ride this crazy thing out for yourself and everyone else. 

Michaell Magrutsche is a certified coach and caregiver and lives in Orange County CA

Family – What Is It?

With every coaching client the conundrum of family comes up and the misunderstandings cause plenty of unnecessary stress. As you probably already figured out for yourself, all families are f***ed up.
Families are screwed up or at least dysfunctional. The purpose of this seemingly defective group is to experience love, allow growth, and handle crises for each individual and in a group environment. In other words, a family is by definition a potentially dysfunctional environment for all family members to learn their lessons from and with each other. We learn the good like receiving love, loyalty, forgiveness and we experience the bad with betrayal, disappointment and shame.

There is no such thing as a perfect family like you see on TV, but we long for it.Can you remember when you wanted your friend’s parents, because they were so cool. Guess for a moment what your friend of those cool parents wished for? If you would grow up in a TV family setting, your survival in the “real” world would be short lived. Why? Family hones your emotional intelligence by teaching you to gauge the meaning of trust and distrust, love and manipulation, honesty and deception. Family is a “safe” training ground to prepare your skill of being able to live in the world as adults.

Sadly, the reason of all family damage comes from an adopted understanding that a family is supposed to be perfect in a certain way. Trying to adapt to such an ideal increases tension, control and anger. Families that strive to conform to their made-up model often end up in shaming its members actively, through ridicule, or passively, through comparison to the “perpetrator.” “You are (are not) like your brother who stole the money, you are just like your cheating father”

I define a functional family as one that creates a dynamic community, which allows its members to embrace their individuality through independence. This kind of family knows that, no matter what happens, it can cope with differences, arguments or events, like a 12 year old daughter becoming pregnant or a parent falling ill without jeopardizing any of its members. A family works when it can handle dysfunction, when it can deal with anything that is thrown their way and everyone knows they will get through this.

This established safety is the glue that holds a functional family together. Contrary, living with each other by depending on conformity leads to unnecessary stress, hurt and boredom. The art of living life is where everyone is participating and contributing with their uniqueness and idiosyncrasies to uplift. The purpose why all families are dysfunctional is for the reason of everyone’s growth, experiencing love, learning how to handle crises and how to function as member and as a unit discovering one’s impact.

Understanding and accepting your families’ function will allow you to relieve stress and guilt, refocus and create space for each family member to experience a more content and a happier future.

Michaell Magrutsche

Listen to this podcast click Family – What is It?

Michaell Magrutsche, Dr. Joen Painter & Hillary F. Brown are certified personal coaches that let you listen-in on the best of their private master-sessions where they discuss topics that come up with themselves or their clients. Secret Talks Podcasts andwebpage.

 

Your X-Factor with Ex-Partners!

This podcast illustrates the power of wanting intimacy vs. wanting a love or sexual relationship. Surprisingly, we found in our talk that what humans look for is foremost intimacy, as in closeness, not as sexuality with another human. In this episode Click here  Michaell Magrutsche, Dr. Joen Painter and Hillary F. Brown discuss the innate problem when ex-partners pop up in our lives, understanding the awkwardness and how to handle these situations. These 15 minutes will pleasantly open your mind to find solutions on how to handle ex-partners being in your current life. Please push LIKE if you enjoy our podcast and share with your friends. For more info go to our wellness-team page.

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What the Hell is Fear All About?

Make Fear a Friend

All fear ultimately comes from a fear of being alone, lonely and/or being separate. Understand and surrender to the fact that there will always be something to fear. Because we are continuously expanding by stepping out or being pushed out of your comfort zone, fear is part of our human growth process. Decide to see fear as a friend to warn you about danger. When you let it go by allowing and feeling your fear(s), and know fear just wants to move through, it will deliver to you your bliss, your loves and your treasures. I love this following quote, because it lets us look differently at fear. “All fear is a symptom of faulty belief. All fears come from loneliness – loneliness meaning: ” I don’t love good enough.” You are in charge of your reality, therefore in charge of how you live with people, in love or in loneliness. Understanding this mechanism, you begin to conquer fear”.- Lazaris. What a great quote to ponder and take a deeper inventory about your fear(s), especially about those fears that you are currently experiencing. One other solution is as soon as you start feeling fear lay down and close your eyes to allow yourself to feel your fear as much as you can handle. Thus usually gives you clarity about the fear and allows the fear to dissipate more quickly. Enjoy. If you like this information please share the wisdom.

Holidays Unstressed – You, Your Partner & Families

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In this episode Michaell Magrutsche, Dr Joen Painter and Hillary F. Brown discuss guilt-trips around family obligations during the Holiday-season.  When a spouse’s family does not approve. The one person that seemingly always ruins the party. The judgement of each other. The yearly review and crazy play of new years resolutions.   We give our opinions, tell our own situations and how to handle them most elegantly. Listen to this 12min Podcast  click here

Staying or Leave a Relationship?

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Should we stay or should we go? What happens when we question our relationships to such an extent? Dr. Pat Allen suggests a simple formula. When 51% of the relationship is good stay. Everything under 50% leave. There is no right answer, but my colleagues Dr. Joen Painter and Hillary F. Brown and myself have created a simple and quick clarity exercise. Our podcast reveals how twisted it all can be when considering pet peeves. Enjoy, and let us know what you think. Listen to the podcast click here.

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Self Observation – Your Key to Ease of Life

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The most rewarding, but intricate thing in life is to overcome the fear of looking at yourself, not in a comparing or self-critical, but in a new, self-observing way. It’s similar to meeting yourself as being another person for the first time. Look at yourself and open up to see the whole of you. Stop comparing, not because it is worry-some, but it does not work. Everyone is different, no exceptions. See the things you like, dislike, what you display and hide, force them all into the light, not to evaluate or judge but to feel. Evaluating Self as good or bad is an easy cop-out that does not work because it prevents you from feeling. Instead, you want to feel consciously, observe and understand who you are and why without evaluating. Integrating self-observation into our routines, eases our life and helps prevent us from bumping into “obstacles.” Meditation is one of the most powerful facilitators of self-observation. Please push LIKE if you enjoy what your read and share with your friends.

Instead, you want to consciously observe and understand who you are and why without evaluate. Integrating self-observation into our routines, eases our life and helps prevent us from bumping into “obstacles.” Meditation is one of the most powerful facilitators of self-observation.

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Fear of Loneliness – Human’s Bugaboo

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There are opinions that either fear or loneliness are the bottom line of all constricting emotions. In my experience, it is the synergy of both. It is the fear of loneliness that is the big unseen bugaboo. Please, stay with me and forgive my wordiness. I guarantee, it will be worth your time. We all know fear or loneliness and we somehow can get through them. The synergy called fear of loneliness is something else and much deeper. Perhaps that’s why we have a hard time seeing it. Fear of loneliness gets to our core, Humanity and God, Universe or whatever higher power (Source) you believe in.

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Deserving & Success

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“Everyone deserves, as we’ve so often said. If deserving were the cause of success, then everyone would be successful. Deserving doesn’t cause… willingness does.” Lazaris.  It is so true. Does the president of the United States deserve to be president more than the average business owner? No. Everyone deserves what they want, but most are not willing to have it, because we humans have believes, and they dictate our thoughts: I can’t be president,I will fail, I don’t have enough influential friends, I am not smart enough etc. Will and Choice can override those limiting thoughts. If you believe that people on top are the superstars that you bought in that they are, you are wrong, and in that believe you put yourself down. Being a leader is a function like a captain on a boat. If one of the guys that rows the boat fails, or if the leader does not lead the crew to get to where they are going the voyage fails. Leaders have the same weaknesses and problems like you. They have 24 hours time, they are prone to the same diseases and they fail like you. There is no logic that justifies why successful people are where they are, but they wholeheartedly believe they deserve their position, can see themselves in that position, choose, make a plan, and are willing to go for it, no matter how their reality treats them.

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What’s Going On Right Now?!?

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Is it good or is it bad? It seems nothing in our world is black and white, right or wrong.  Recessions aren’t recessions. Business isn’t business anymore. Even friendships  have different dynamics these days. Humans are creatures of habit. When things change or, in our current situation, the world changes, we get anxious and frightened. If a burglar wakes you up at night – you are afraid. If you are afraid, does not mean a burglar is in your house. If you know the noise that wakes you up is just the wind, you can go back to bed. Know that everyone and everything is currently changingfor the better, but we can’s see it yet. Focusing on what works can keep us in our seat on our ride to the next destination called “A New World.” Focus on what is working also helps let go of self ridicule, self judgement, dread and fear. This is what my friend Lazaris said about understanding what’s going on currently. “Everything is different now. You are growing and changing in a new way. Consider … your past and current failures were not and are not regression: They were and are means to a wiser, more fruitful path taking you in new directions that lead to greater happiness, greater success, and greater peace.” Lazaris

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What Does A Coach Does & When To Use One?

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The goal of a life coach is to first find what is working within you and for you, then build on that Real Foundation.  A Coach does not teach you his/her own paths to success. A Life Coach helps defining the You in you to establish Your Clarity and Focus of what You really want.  A Coach supports you staying in that clarity and focus until reaching your destination.   A Life/Wellness Coach is like a friend that is neutral and his/her only agenda is your ease and well-being on your way to your goals.  The proof that you have found YOUR way is that you experience “Inspired Action”. This means, you don’t have to force yourself into your success. Instead, you are getting naturally drawn into your wants by taking action that is fueled by the feeling that you can get there. You are inspired. A life coach’s strength is to support clients finding themselves and build on that foundation organically.
Reasons To Use A Life Coach: Having a sounding board for your dreams and solutions. Helping define your dreams and guides you to move forward. Helping recognize what to do to move forward with greater momentum and clarity of vision.  Finally, having a partner helps you doing more than you would on your own.
I know I have the right Life Coach:  “I feel at ease. Now, my attitude changed to reflect my goals. I feel better every day.  I see results in my daily life. I feel clarity about my life situations.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am Empowered.” Send me and email for a free session. michaell@michaellm.com

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How To Find What You Really Want:

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HOW TO FIND WHAT YOU REALLY WANT: Oddly, we humans know to the smallest detail what we don’t want, but when ask what we do want we stutter. The best way to find “what you truly want,” is discovered in “what you don’t want.” Try this, either for a section of your life like relationship, job, business, or for your life as a whole: 1. write down everything you don’t want or fear, till you have nothing left. 2. Make a new list by turning the first list all into positives. Examples, I don’t like to drive to work during rush hour. – It would be nice, if I had a job where I have flexible hours to avoid rush hours. I don’t like to be disrespected. – It would be nice, if everyone had mutual respect I come in contact with. 3. Add any other things you knew you wanted before you started this process. d. Throw away the list with the I don’t wants and condense and tweak the list to make it sound right for you. 4. Let go of focussing onto “what you don’t want.” Instead, start focusing on “what you want” by reading your want every morning and evening to keep you on track. Adjust the list if it feels outdated or you discover new wants. You will be amazed what this little change of focus will do in your life. Here is a 3 minute video that shows how life altering it is knowing what you really want. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc

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Creativity – Acting vs. Story vs. Structure vs. Audience

Creativity Coach Michaell Magrutsche explains Story vs Acting

Playing with a story structure by jumping timelines is confusing enough and mostly used when there are holes in the story or to explain the inexplicable.  The newest thing, next to extensively shifting timelines, BBC overwhelms by adding sequences of different imagined realities of Sherlock to thicken the plot.  If it was not for the great acting and buzz of the show, people would trash Sherlock for being incomprehensible. In Sherlock’s case the 3rd season has become just a tricky mind game to keep viewers engaged. It forces viewers to be the sleuth of the story line not how to solve clever crime(s). Actually, in this 3rd season crimes are a ruse. The 1st episode focused on the variation of a theme of how Sherlock faked his death. The 2nd episode was a simple and convoluted reveal about how to kill someone with a spike in a belt. In the final and 3rd,  Johns love uses the most far fetched way to ask Sherlock for help by attempting to kill him. Having the audience trying to understand the story telling weakens even with those simplistic plots, because viewers are expecting more that is simply not there and the “wow” factor of season 1 is gone.

Subconsciously, we know we have been tricked into a goose chase without the goose. Filmmakers can’t just rely on superb acting skills and we know the best can’t save a bad script.  Solution: If you don’t have an intricate story at least make us aware with B&W dream scenes (producers have done this before) to give clarity. To explain a character, I would use refined emotional intelligence knowledge, instead of showing us what he/she is imagining. I love Sherlock 1 & 2 but season 3 is not about the viewer, but instead written to elevate BBC’s Sherlock brand minus the viewer in mind. If BBC will invest in good stories instead of  just focus on the actors this show has still life left.

Welcome To The Art of Being Human

Michaell Magrutsche
Certified personal coach, find Your artistic Voice & creativity/coach,
consultant, author.

Michaell Magrutsche coaches for over 25 years.” My mastery is in finding your individual strengths/talent/essence and build on that foundation. What a Wellness Coach Does.  “I found that most people when feeling frustrations are actually well. When people feel there is something wrong, it comes from their misunderstandings and unawareness of who they are. Clarity of Emotions will Increase Understanding which is key to what you want.  I have shown successful results in many areas. My passion lead me to discover well-being and ease with: Discovering “Your” Unique Value.  Finding “Your” True Creative Expression. Reclaiming “Your” Power of Sexual Clarity. Discover Your Essence and find your Life Passions through Inspired Action vs. Required Action.  I am coaching in English and German.” Contact me to experience a Test Session at michaell@michaellm.com

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Are You A Sloppy Thinker?

Life Coach Michaell Magrutsche explains sloppy positive/negative thinking and what can solutions can be used for a better life

Can’t you remember when you got a new car, and all of a sudden, you see the same car everywhere. We see what we focus OR don’t focus on. The same happens with our thoughts/feelings. Positive thoughts/feelings attract more positive thoughts/feelings, which in turn confirm to you a life that is more positive, therefore make you think more positive thoughts and so on… Negative thoughts/feelings  attract more negative thoughts/feelings,which in turn confirm a life with more negativity that in turn fosters more negative thoughts and so on…I am not suggesting suppress your sadness and pretend to be positive. I’d rather want you to see that you are sad and feel it, while at the same time searching  for something (image, feeling, memory …) that makes you a feel better and so on until you feel at least neutral. Try to make yourself aware by watching out for your sloppy thoughts and keep focusing on thinking/feeling what makes you feel better.

We Do Everything For Happiness

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Happiness is the bottom-line of all you do and all your desires. What you choose to do comes from you believing it will make you feel happier. I.e. You want this sports car to show your wild side, to feel young again, to be happier. Whatever it is you choose to do, loving or hurting someone, you believe, ultimately, it will make you happier. THE RUB: Society taught you feeling uncomfortable or ambiguous  bad is a “bad thing. ”By adding this judgment when feeling bad you feel worse. It is human to want to feel happy. Condemning feeling uncomfortable or bad is inhuman. It is essential to understand, feeling ambiguous or uncomfortable lets you know that you are not on YOUR right track. SOLUTION: Go and look for another way or thought that feels better. You got to go down on a trampoline in order to get height. Next time when feeling bad, think “trampoline” and look forward to getting happier and feeling better.

Know Your Creativity And Why

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CREATIVITY: If you don’t have a creative outlet, you might want to try finding yours. Like physical activity, creativity is a major human need, suppressing creative expression is leading to expressions that are much less fun like creating drama or hardship. In addition, creativity detracts in a pleasant way, without numbing, from your daily stress allowing you to balance your non physical with your physical part that is you.

Meditation How To

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Lay down or sit. Close your eyes. And watch yourself what goes on with you. Are you impatient? Do you think you are doing it wrong? Relax, you can’t. Most importantly, watch your thoughts. Let it just blabber on and listen what your thoughts are saying. This allowing of blabber will relax you and it will sooner or later stop. Then you fall asleep or you  get great ideas or will have interesting thoughts. That’s it. Just surrender and watch what happens. That’s it and everyone can do it. There is no right way to meditate. Especially for beginners,  if your mind has been running during the meditation, don’t worry, your nonphysical Self (subconscious, unconscious)  knows your intent to relax, let go, energize, balance etc.  It is through practicing meditating that you will find YOUR way and then meditation will become part of your life. Life should be easy by being in flow.  Use meditation to keep you in, or get back into flow. Meditation allows your physical Self to catch up and align with your non physical Self.  Google the benefits of meditation. You will be surprised. Let me know how you did.

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Gender Differences

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Our gender differences create false impressions of our partners. Dr. Pat Allen really got me to see the fact that men and women are not like dogs and cats, but rather more like turtles and giraffes. This huge gender difference between men and women. How we feel, behave and perceive differently, creates distrust and a false feeling of incompatibility. Without knowing the basic  differences between a man’s and a woman’s behaviors, we are bound to keep creating misunderstandings; not because men and women don’t fit, but because of the “simple” lack of knowledge about different gender behavior.

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is knowing about the human condition, the properties of emotions and the sensing and translating of feelings and how they function and relate to what works and does not in your life. Don’t sweat it, you are doing it all day every day. Why? Because all human motivations are based on the believe that they will lead us  or make us happy. I.e. I buy this car-A instead of that car-B, because I feel it is car-A is better and that will make me happier than the other car-B.  Intelligence that is based on facts and cause and effect is less and less important due to the overwhelming information delivery from the internet. To gauge if the information works for you, you need your emotions of what feels right or better.

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