There are opinions that either fear or loneliness are the bottom line of all constricting emotions. In my experience, it is the synergy of both. It is the fear of loneliness that is the big unseen bugaboo. Please, stay with me and forgive my wordiness. I guarantee, it will be worth your time. We all know fear or loneliness and we somehow can get through them. The synergy called fear of loneliness is something else and much deeper. Perhaps that’s why we have a hard time seeing it. Fear of loneliness gets to our core, Humanity and God, Universe or whatever higher power (Source) you believe in.
The big misunderstanding that creates that underlying fear is the belief that the Source remains stagnant or unchangeable, while we humans continuously change. And, at the same time, we at least unconsciously know that this is not so. For some odd reason, we feel uncomfortable with an idea that the God we prayed to, when we were five, has grown and developed as we have.
Since everything in this Universe is continuously moving, stagnation means – non existence. Which in itself would not be scary, because if you don’t exist, you don’t know or feel it anyway. What hurts and frightens us, is our awareness that everything is always moving, and the knowing, we have partly separated from our non-physical part/self (dreams thoughts ideas feelings and emotions) and not being able to reconnect after our “vacation on earth.”
We use the intellectual bridge of the Source/God as being stagnant and never changing to assuage our fear of not being able to find back home to Us. This explains the strong believe in bible, religions, laws to have something static to rely and depend on to find our footing. There is nothing wrong with these. We all need crutches to move on.
At the same time, too much focus on our footing of a static, unchanging source, only amplifies their false premise as a bridge instead of being a part of a road to ourselves. Meaning, we don’t see the forest for the trees. We, at the very least, unconsciously know that everything has to move to keep existing and we also know that there is no such thing as separation. In order to grow, we have to pretend separation exists. Answer the question for yourself. If everything grows and changes all the time why and how would the Source/God stay still? This would be even for the source a very meager existence. Life is in movement and movement is change, innovation, ideas, new thoughts.
The illusion of separateness is so perfect that we smart humans accept and insist that we are only physical, even though at least one third of the time, we are focusing on our non-physical in the form of sleep, dreaming, thinking, feelings, imagining.
Here is the best explanation I could come up with. Our whole Self decided to grow in form of having an experience. It’s like choosing to go to a movie or going on a vacation to a foreign land. We “separated” in order to grow and come back with a new experience. This separation had a clause to not being aware, similar to forgetting we are in a movie, and believing we experience this movie as if it was reality, to achieve more impact.
So here is the payoff: Since both, we and Source are continuously changing, humans fear that when we want to return home (die), we will not find Source and everything is over. This makes us fear death and believe we will not be able to move anymore and thus not exist.
So, why are we so afraid of nonexistence? In my opinion, we too know deep down that no matter how hard life is, and what we are going through, the secondary gain, going through any hardship helps clarify what we really want. This is worth the knowledge and expansion that we are ultimately longing for, knowing it is worth the trouble. Otherwise, we would not have chosen this movie.
BUT, since we never really separated, we will always find home to source.
The key for me is to build and stay in touch with my non physical Self and Source through meditation. Thus, I suggest, you amplify your connection to Source by listening-in to your non-physical Self via meditation, art, enjoying Nature, sufficient sleep, slowing down your life by cutting out distractions, and focus on what makes you feel good and feels right for you. Being in tune with Self keeps you in natural flow with source/God and/or Universe and makes Life so much easier and more productive.